soapen

I know, his tastes were disgusting too), he flicked through his enormous dictionary (which he was careful to keep out of the dampening effects of the shower and the soapening effects of the soap) looking for and learning enormous words that he could use to impress everyone as he practised the speech that he had only just written and improved with a careful swirl from his indigo-ink fountain pen which he filled from a faucet installed specially for the purpose.