Hee was touched with great Remorse

He knew she was nothing but a fubsy pig-pink whorelet and would elbow her face away when she attempted to kiss him after he had finished […]

No matter how slimy the other Guy's wet-noodle handshake may be, never crush his hand.

The obvious inference was that myxoedema, goitre and cretinism were due to thyroid failure.