I would get indignant at magazine articles that characterised Australia as a nation of pisspots. I remember one in particular because I was nearly inspired to write a letter to the editor. ‘Australians,’ claimed the journalist, ‘drank until they threw up on their shoes.’ And then I realised there was a good deal of truth in all this. Quite a few Australians do drink until they throw up on their shoes. I have done it myself.

He got a B in his History mock, but improved to an A in the exam.

You weren't to know // You couldn't have known.

You shagged bare lads, you're a little sket / Have you heard your bars? They're fucking pept