Have them meet you on your favorite messenger program. IMs provide a means of instant chat without waiting on someone to respond back to you.

Presumably while Armin as Tutch is off “whipping the cat” ( getting drunk ) with the watermen, Blue John, his doubled part, arrives to entertain the wedding guests with his nurse and a boy.

[H]e had little time or respect for the rich skip bitches who were his neighbours, useless fake-tanned women with plastic smiles and silicone tits who spent their husbands' money on afternoon teas, endless shopping and personal trainers.

Compare this with today when a programmer performs the task once for all and the computress performs a single-hand computation which is sufficient for all. Then our computers, large willing slaves, unerringly and without complaint produce all the answers you are willing to pay for.