Real have sailed close to the wind in the Champions League this season, most notably when they needed two goals to survive against Manchester City in the semi-final with 90 minutes gone.

previously there had been gerontic oligarchy

Just how badly do you want your Thin Mints? Because if you think some little girl in green — pigtailed, bereted and be-sashed — is going to deliver them to your front door, you may be in for a very long wait.

Keep vamping! Something’s wrong with the mic!