The next day Charles had the child brought back. She asked for her mamma. They told her she was away; that she would bring her back some playthings.

What I want to perpetrate upon the persons of ALL alt.slackers: I would like to promulgate the insidious rumor that everyone who posts to alt.slack is a homicidal zoophiliac heroin addict whose greatest pleasure in life is burning down Catholic orphanages. Then I would point in your direction the proper authorities who, under my conspiratorial direction, would actually be untrained squads of rape gorillas who had all undergone bionic surgery the purpose of which was to replace the gorillas' fleshy organs with gigantic robotic penises equipped with rotating, electrified fish scalers and glans-mounted flame throwers. Then I would assign fifty rape gorillas to each alt.slacker and confine them to tiny cells dug beneath the sewers of New York City.

At the waving of the president's handkerchief, the bugles strike up amidst thunders of applause; the torril-gate is open, and the first king of the herd rushes wildly into the midst of the arena.

Plutarkes opinions are Platonicall, gentle and accommodable unto civill societie[…].