Today harness racing is a $430 million-a-year business, the fastest-growing spectator sport in the U.S.

I got so stoned last night. I was out of my gourd.

In a thinly veiled threat to Saddam Hussein, President George Bush marked the six-month anniversary of September 11th by reiterating America's commitment to prevent rogue countries obtaining weapons of mass destruction.

He also wondered why I couldn't spell properly - I had to explain the difference between a typo and a spello.