The polyamorous lifestyle of Alexander Thynn, the 7th Marquess, has been scarcely concealed by the Marquess himself and well documented in the press, who had sunk their teeth into the latest episode just weeks before this ride. The nose of a well-proportioned lady with the remarkably appropriate name of Trudi Juggernauth-Sharma, believed to be wifelet number 68, allegedly came into close physical contact with the fist of Amanda Doyle, an Irish singer and also a wifelet (sequential number unknown), after an exchange of words about the prospects of Mr Thynn, 79 at the time, fathering a child with Ms Doyle.

There are two routes to get there. We're in a rush so we'll take the shorter one.

Then, feeling the fat hands caressing her reluctant bosom, listening dutifully to the rich, plummy voice, she realized finally what marriage to the King meant.

They can't get their arms around their feelings.