To determine how much live protein may be occupying a shroom, try this test: […].

Klopp was not interested in any other target and as soon as the January transfer window opened Van Dijk was through the door at Anfield for £75m, a world record fee for a defender. And with every passing game, Liverpool's lavish pay-out looks money well spent.

We move to Twankey's launderette, where the Aladdin/Bathroomdoor romance hots up.

After Lord Burnet was gone to the Chace, Musgroves and Lady Burnet went to bed together, which the little Footpage made an excuse to go to the Lady's room; and, seeing them in bed together, said, that Lord Burnet should know it before any sleep had closed his eyes.