17th March is St Patrick's feast day.

This is what happens if you never wipe. Your butthole gets dirty!

Thus Cloudesle cleft the apple in two, That many a man might see; Over God's forbode, said the king, That thou shoot at me!

Theſe are the wings ſhall make it flie as ſwift, As dooth the lightening: or the breath of heauen, And kill as ſure as it ſwiftly flies.