Unbelievably, Rudy saved the man's life but got sued for breaking two of his ribs.

Worse, if your name is Dave, the only possible nickname is Davey, which makes you sound like you should be wearing a coonskin cap.

In spite of the early hour, the Marquis of Chatham was finely garbed in black smallcoat and breeches of grey superfine.

They have shown their staying power before and it would be daft to write them off but it must be disturbing, nonetheless, for Mourinho that his team are five points behind already and locked in a game of catch-up against the side that has just subjected them to a rare, old-fashioned beating.