Fun is the doughboy's pal—that's why he wrote and sings K-K-K-Katy —the song of songs, with a zippy, catchy melody and those beautifully simple words stammered by Katy's tongue-tied beau.
Every man hath heard the tale of the Picard, who being upon the ladder ready to be thrown down, there was a wench presented unto him, with this offer […] that if he would marry her, his life should be saved, [...and] a man of Denmark, who being adjudged to have his head cut off, and being upon the scaffold, had the like condition offered him, but refused it, because the wench offered him was jawfallen, long-cheeked, and sharp-nosed.
My worthy Nelly! I am greatly rejoiced to find it is no other than thee. Hist! child, hist! Should Ishmael gain a knowledge of our plans, he would not hesitate to cast us both from this rock, upon the plain beneath. Hist! Nelly, hist!
Once these things have been decided, collecting the real world data will be, methodologically, fairly simple.