In 2006 a mass skipathon had 7632 children skipping continuously for three minutes at 85 locations in the United Kingdom and Ireland.

He felt a flutter of panic, a commotion of mothy wings at his throat.

There is nothing more annoying than a rogue cycler ignoring the other road users.

Ergo, we are wrong to encourage conformity, busy-work, tea-timing diplomatic petticoatery — wrapping bandages against the last day, as it were — and instead should urge those who can to be themselves.