A padded knee shattered my balls. I doubled over in the hallway, coughing up blood and yellow stuff I thought might be bile. Though wracked with pain, I was glad I wore briefs. My tighties kept those precious little orbs in place.

Armstrong reaffirmed that he is, above all, interested in making seasonlong use of his bully pulpit to promote the worldwide fight against cancer.

Sitting in the courtroom ..., their laptops and tablets propped before them, power cables snaking through convoluted adapters, the Twitterati have sight of witnesses at all times – the troubadours, or perhaps the tricoteuses, of the digital revolution.

The sooner the average boobus Americanus figures out that the problems that ail him aren't a product of and won't be solved by political partisanship, the sooner he'll stop being a boobus Americanus. The thought for the day: ideology ain't thought.