Your sightliness of person may perhaps make some think this alliance disparaging.

But of course I could not do this by myself, so I took a Hottentot—a very clever man when he was not drunk—who lived on the stead, into my confidence.

St Johnstone boss Derek McInnes had made two changes, with Callum Davidson, who has now recovered from injury, the replacement for crocked fellow defender David McCracken and David Robertson taking the place of Chris Millar in midfield.

What we've seen in the past 10 years, with the chavs and the pram faces and the Popbitch sneering (Oh hilarious! Poor person matches bag with baby!) and Little Britain and Catherine Tate and their sidesplitting yeah-but-no-but poor people, is a complete reversal of this convention, in favour of the frankly less sophisticated: See that person who's already down? Let's go and kick him.