As pageants go, this one was short (about four blocks, one hour) and friendly in a fringey, attitudinous way.

A ship's bottom is foul when overgrown with barnacles

Cynthia and Melinda, reduced to Cindy and Mindy, as Carella had dreaded would happen from the moment she named them. Her older daughter had fared better. Tess, modern and sleek for Teresa, which conjured up cobblestoned streets in a mountain village in Potenza.

It was hard to tell the twins apart: they even spoke identically.