Lords of grim old castles and all that pertained to them, riders in a thousand forays, parleyers with or advisers of the Lord Deputy […]

Defecalgesiophobia, it has been called. Anusol Suppositories promptly remove the strain. And, with it, this most aggravating complication.

And now Mrs. Waters (for we muſt confeſs ſhe was in the ſame Bed) being, I ſuppoſe, awakened from her Sleep, and ſeeing two Men fighting in her Bed-chamber, began to ſcream in the moſt violent Manner, crying out Murder! Robbery! and more frequently Rape! which laſt, ſome, perhaps, may wonder ſhe ſhould mention, who do not conſider that theſe Words of Exclamation are uſed by Ladies in a Fright, as Fa, la, la, ra, da, &c. are in Muſic, only as the Vehicles of Sound, and without any fixed Ideas.

I'll offset the time difference locally.