For those who are into aliens, this is your lucky day – Wednesday 26 April is ‘Alien Day’.

The Queen had managed to choke down enough luncheon for a family of four before submitting to her attendants' demands that she retire to her room and rest.

Is it wrong to take pleasure in other people's misfortunes?

For in their succourless empty-handedness, they, in the heathenish sharked waters, and by the beaches of unrecorded, javelin islands, battled with virgin wonders and terrors that Cook with all his marines and muskets would not willingly have dared.