It shouldn't be hard to come up with a musical syllabary in which pitches code for vowels and timbres code for consonants.

O conſider my caſe, moſt blisfull Queen, […] Diſpell thoſe Clouds which hover 'twixt my King and his higheſt Counſell, […] that my great Law-making Court be forced to turn no more to polemicall Committees, […] but that they may come again to the old Parliamentary Rode, To the path of their Predeceſſours, to conſult of means how to ſweep away thoſe Cobwebs that hang in the Courts of Juſtice, and to make the Laws run in their right Channell; to retrench exceſſive fees, and finde remedies for the future, that the poor Client be not ſo peeled by his Lawyer, and made to ſuffer by ſuch monſtrous delays, that one may go from one Tropick to the other, and croſſe the Equinoctiall twenty times, before his ſute be done; […]

The book contains such typically Rowlingesque characters as tree stumps with eyes and hairy hearts, and includes a frontispiece noting that the stories were “translated from the original runes.”

We never have been, are not, and never will be, directly or indirectly, the apologists or palliators of duelling.