‘I’m fit to be tied right now. I’d like to throw my cap up into the air and yell Blue Blazes.’

It's insane the way people compare everything to sex. For years now, Arnold Schwarzenegger has made the talk-show rounds telling audiences that pumping iron is better than sex. No wonder it took him so long to find a bride.

It's so peaceful. ¶ So's a marble orchard. ¶ A marble orchard? ¶ A cemetery.

I came across Bart on a week away, whoring and drinking mostly, heard his glib stories about where he worked, and there found my opportunity. His ego was my ticket to ride.