As it happens, my perspective on claims to "real" and "play" in BDSM is a bit different, and it may be useful to some (it remains, of course, only one person's perspective). It comes down to this - all of wiitwd is play. Not because everything is play, or because there is anything trivial or fake about wiitwd, but because the real thing doesn't occur with consent, and isn't about giving people what they want and need.