Stu and I clicked “Classifieds,” which feature ads from surros and from couples who intend to be parents (IPs, in Surrospeak, a patois we now practiced; Stu and I, more narrowly, were IFs: Intended Fathers).

Where greedily sea-lawyers roam, And Neptune used to be at home, With barber rude and Triton ; Where sudden squalls with noisy wrath, Like bullies cross the vessel's path, Poor Jack to vent their spite on.

Active for many years in coonmunity affairs, Unscrupulata was a member of the Sons of Africoonia Knife-Throwing & Spearchucking Society, the Idi Amin Theology and Chitlin Club, and the Unsanitaryia Pizzeria Bowling Team, and a Past-President of the South Cincy Pork Rind Lawn & Weed Club.

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