I was planning on archiving the documents from 2001.

mature content

to unfur a water pipe

It sounds to me (notice the auditory tie-in) like you're just gonna have to tough it out until the young'ns run away and join the circus or you lose your hearing, whichever comes first. Or, of course, YOU could run away and join the circus but circuses (circi?) have worse music than you're listening to now.