John sent me a three-page report when I just wanted an answer on a postcard.
When we swung open the door to the stairwell, Selfie was sitting on the stairs holding her phone at different angles near her foot. As I got closer, I realized she was photographing one of her high-heeled boots. Prezbo looked puzzled. Oh, hi. She glanced up at us. I'm taking a shoefie.
Oh, hi.
I'm taking a shoefie.
Jimbo had seen many drifters in all his years, and they all had that dead-pan look in their eyes.
Five minutes later, Southampton tried to mount their first attack, but Wickham sabotaged the move by tripping the rampaging Nathaniel Clyne, prompting the referee, Andre Marriner, to issue a yellow card. That was a lone blemish on an otherwise tidy start by Poyet’s team – until, that is, the 12th minute, when Vergini produced a candidate for the most ludicrous own goal in Premier League history.
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